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03/25/2003 Entry: "I Can Only Blame The Wine So Many Times."

I had a good time Saturday night. But as I left, I was sworn not to reveal anything that had occurred that evening. "Or else we'll have you killed," said James, jokingly. "I'm not joking," he said, not-jokingly.

I'm picturing it: I hit "post" on the entry and Cheyenne breaks down the door and shouts, "There he is! Get him!" Jessica and Brendan slap me in handcuffs (ooh!), The Other James takes me through a maze of rooms downstairs in an undisclosed East Bay location. Robert/Marlénè checks me for exciting jewelry and, finding nothing, throws me to the floor.

Then would come the Random Beatings.

Ernie and his boyfriend playing Bad Cop/Good Cop with me (respectively, I think, but you can never be sure.) Gretchen threatens to feed me to the dogs, but Chad and Michael nix the suggestion, as too cruel to the animals. Finally Min Jung would be Judge and Jury, and William Ted would perform last rites.

But at the last minute with the makeshift firing squad drawing their weapons, I picture Vinnie sniffing my bound feet and wagging his tail and James calling for guns to be lowered. "Wait, the Bambino has granted a Stay! A Stay! Stay, Vinnie, stay!"

...perhaps this means it's time for bed.

Replies: 5 comments

Fucking hell. My visit's going to be interesting, isn't it? (I know I keep saying that, but...)

Posted by Jason @ 03/25/2003 08:25 AM PST

DAMN, I miss everything.. I didn't see all that going on..I miss all the fun stuff


Posted by vince @ 03/25/2003 04:19 PM PST

What a fabulously gothic fantasy!! Relax . . . I'll make your passage into the next world a real barrel of laughs . . .

And the Bambino really does rule the world.

Posted by William Ted @ 03/25/2003 10:55 PM PST

Sheesh, you make me sound like a bad guy!

Posted by the other james @ 03/29/2003 05:54 AM PST

Oh lamb, I admit that I was starting to run out of good roles in my little execution fantasy. But I also didn't want you to have to be "Torch-Wielding Mob person #3" in the closing credits. (And their house really does go on forever down there.)

Posted by Casey @ 04/01/2003 08:17 AM PST

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