11/19/2001 Entry: "...and it's on Hello Kitty Stationery."

In honor of his 30th birthday, Choire wants people to post something we're too shy or embarrassed to normally post. I'll take that as my cue to come clean with a sexual confession, something I don't think the Boyfriend even knows. It's pretty tame, but here it is, nonetheless. If you'd rather not read on, don't follow the link...

Okay, the pervs are still with me. You'll be disappointed, I'm sure...This is embarrassing. OK. Here it is.

I have an exceptionally strong attraction to men's forearms.

I've read more than a couple people online who share this fascination with me. (I won't name names, because I don't want to speak for them.) Now it's not technically a fetish—I'm not dependent on it for sexual satisfaction. But the right pair of forearms can get me going all by themselves. It doesn't even have to be an attractive guy in the first place; I know I have said to myself, "My gods, he's ugly, but look at those arms!"

It's such a useless fixation, too. With something like a foot fetish, you at least might find someone into being shrimped; it's at least understood as a "kinky" sexual practice. What can you do with forearms? Get long hugs? Give vigorous forearm rubs? (I'm reminded of Margaret Cho on her fan letters from prisoners: "'I love women with fat arms, and you have the fattest arms I have ever seen. I want you to jerk me off with your big fat arms.' ...How do you jerk somebody off with your big fat arms?")

It's not just about hairy, muscular arms, either, although that's never a bad start. There's a Gestalt to it, or something. Sure, big Bluto arms are good, but I've seen some virtually hairless forearms that were sculptural and amazing. And some arms that aren't muscular but have character somehow, with interesting veins or tattoos or incredible patterns of hair.

You might guess that I think the Boyfriend has great forearms. You're right, but there's a lot else that I like about him, too, and that's all I'll say about that. (And truth be told, I read some of this post to him on the phone before I posted it. So technically, he did know this before I posted it.)

There, I've said it; now I'm out of the closet as a forearm fetishist. And now all the men who read my blog will make a mental note: wear long sleeves the next time you see him.

Replies: 10 comments

Or we'll all decide to roll up our sleeves. ;-)

Posted by Bill @ 11/20/2001 09:38 AM PST

forearms, shmorearms...
it's spelled STATIONERY, silly boy! =)

Posted by moi @ 11/20/2001 01:40 PM PST

Noted, and corrected. Reminds me of the Tracy Chapman song we used to joke with: "I Don't Like Being Stationary". We'd pretend to write and scribble on someone until they said it. (Come to think of it, we still do.)

Posted by Casey @ 11/20/2001 05:37 PM PST

speak for me all you want, darling heart! i am one of the forementioned hairy forearm afficionados!

Posted by pj @ 11/20/2001 05:54 PM PST

then this is for you!

http://www.ifbikes.com/images/steelcrownjewel.jpg

Posted by Choire @ 11/20/2001 09:46 PM PST

This.was.absolutely.hilarious.
:)

Posted by Sijeka @ 11/21/2001 02:18 AM PST

ME TOO!!!

Forearms really get me going. The worst part is looking down at my own forearms and realizing how stick-like they are and how much they don't live up to all the amazing possibilites of forearms out there. Time for the gym, eh?

Posted by Paul @ 11/21/2001 07:15 AM PST

Forearms drive me CRAZY!!! I'm here. I like forearms. Get use to it!

Posted by Geno @ 11/21/2001 08:23 AM PST

Thanks, Casey, for enlightening me to a whole new way to appreciate the male form. Why did I never notice the sexiness of forearms? I was at the gym this morning doing those godawful butterfly things and I was looking in the mirror at this guy who was bench pressing behind me. After a set, he sat up on the bench, tucked his legs up against his chest, and wrapped his arms around his legs and sat there for a while. And what incredible forearms! Yowzer. Of course, I'm blaming you for my sore pectorals, because for some reason I decided to spend a lot of extra time doing butterflies this morning.

Posted by Ron @ 11/21/2001 10:47 PM PST

Forearms are nice and all, but hasn't anyone thought about the other end? Calves!

mmm. A shapely pair of muscular calves -- a runner or a guy climbing stairs quickly.

Yep. Forearms and calves.

Colin

Posted by Colin @ 11/25/2001 02:58 PM PST