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02/15/2004 Entry: "An Unmarried Man."

The Boyfriend called me yesterday and told me I should go by city hall and see the line for myself; I mean, I only live a few blocks away from it. He joked about meeting me there in line—with papers in hand. (Well, he was mostly kidding, anyway.) I wandered over to look at the line, which at 3pm, only (!) went around 2 sides of the building. Over the past two days I've seen and heard ever-closer reports of couples I know getting their marriage certificates: various Sisters marrying their longtime partners; various people at work; Matt and Brian; Mark and Rich. And for each time I hear the news, I feel all the more proud and, frankly, emotional.

It was amazing to see: Hundreds of couples. Smiles on so many faces. Supporters in honking cars waving and blowing kisses. Men carrying signs that said "Thank you Gavin Newsom" and women with giant paper lace hearts pinned to their blouses. I couldn't help but smile. I never thought I'd see this, and here I was standing in the middle of it. On the opposite side of the building, newly married couples came out grinning, carrying their licenses. One couple paused on the steps while friends excitedly arranged them for a picture; the looks on their faces was almost indescribable: the pride of doing what we know is right, the love they felt for each other, the joy of being here at this crazy moment in history. They were beautiful. And this door that had just opened for them was even open forme. I never understood before why people cried at weddings, but at that moment I had to turn away before I started to myself.

Tipsy last night at the Local Neighborhood Cabaret, one of Huntington's friends was big on the idea of The Boyfriend and I getting hitched. "You look like the groom on top of a wedding cake," he said. (Um...sure. It was dark, we were drunk.) Well, that sort of reasoning was pretty easy to dismiss. But we did think about it. There are some very convincing arguments for it—that we'd be participating in civil disobedience about an issue we feel strongly about; that if injunctions go through, this might be the only window of opportunity we'd have to marry for possibly years to come; that we'd been together for long enough, why shouldn't it be official?

But we didn't. I won't speak for us both, but I don't think I'm ready to be "married," with the cultural and emotional weight that entails, even if nothing else about our lives was to change. But then, our whole world has been changing faster than we ever imagined possible these past few years, so who knows.

We're running off to a wedding this afternoon. A straight wedding, actually. Yes, they still have them here. I'll try my best not to call out, "Copy-cats!"

And not to get too emotional.

Update: ...and Jase and Michael. And David and Mark. And Sherilyn and Katrina. I'm going to go broke (albeit happily so) when I find out where all these couples are registered.

Replies: 5 comments

Good choice. It made for good vodka-fueled speculation, though, dinnit?

Posted by Huntington @ 02/15/2004 08:01 PM PST

When this came up at a dinner party this weekend, my SO couldn't answer fast enough with an emphatic "No!" when asked if he wnated to get married.

I have mixed feelings on the whole issue. On the one hand: Solid and instituational. On the other had, sappy and prone to excess public displays of emotion. I think would ditch my own wedding if I had one of those "Committment Ceremonies" that I have seen where people recite spiritual poetry and gaze into each other's eyes.

Sentimental: Check. Maudlin: Hell, no.

Posted by Colin @ 02/17/2004 05:10 PM PST


(For those of you who don't know us, the pictures of me and Sherilyn start in the second row.)

We're not registered anywhere, but our cd burner has rolled over and died (yes, again, my wife is a cd burning fool), so Best Buy/Circuit City gift certificates are appreciated.

Sherilyn and I actually talked about you and the boyfriend while we were waiting in line on Monday. We figured the two of you had at least considered getting hitched but decided against it for pretty much the reason you mentioned here.

Grinning like a fool,

Posted by Katrina @ 02/19/2004 02:35 PM PST

A gothic civil-disobedience wedding. That's fabulous, no lie. I can't wait for the honeymoon shots!

Posted by Jason @ 02/19/2004 07:08 PM PST

A gothic civil-disobedience wedding. That's fabulous, no lie.

Thank you! It always makes me smile when someone comments on what we wore that day because, honestly, we simply dressed for warmth. (At one point, I even had a pair of leggins on beneath my skirt.)

I can't wait for the honeymoon shots!

They'd be extremely boring, just me and Sherilyn sitting behind our desks at our respective admin. asst. jobs. :)

Posted by Katrina @ 02/20/2004 08:36 AM PST

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